Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
