Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
