Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Randomize