id be glad to
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i drank out of a bidet.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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