apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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