it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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