I hate your face
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She said her name was "party"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
