I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
