Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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