as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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