Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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