All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
