worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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