He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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