I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize