but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
