Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
