It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
