Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
