I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
