last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize