let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
