My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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