I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
