So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
