Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
