I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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