I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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