Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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