Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
how drunk are you?
Several
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
