I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
