Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
