What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
