Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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