What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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