I'm lost and stupid without you.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
