Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I skipped work to stalk him.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
