She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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