Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize