i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
