the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
