i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
