Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
