If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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