U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
