I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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