He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
