his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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