How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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