Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
