are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
