i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
