dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
