Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
