i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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