I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
