FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
