I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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