we're chasing vodka with high fives
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
