Christians are straight up FREAKS
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
