you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
how drunk are you?
Several
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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