Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
